Lovely Legalism

I'm utterly fascinated by legalism. Legalistic groups, legalistic people, legalistic families, etc. I'm attracted to them, in the way someone is attracted to aliens; out of simple curiosity and the yearning to understand why they do the things they do.

How does one maintain that level of self control? How are legalistic people always so modest, conservative, perfectly in control of their lives? What would it be like to adhere myself to such strict ways of living? Would I succeed if I ever tried? Are legalistic people happy? Maybe I should ask one someday.

Sometimes I struggle with wanting to be legalistic. I find the outward appearance of it so appealing. This is why I immerse myself in shows like the Duggars, and books on Mormonism. To me, legalistic people whether Mormon, Christian, Amish or some other faith...they all seem so clean and put together. I like that about them. But is that reality?

My experience of 24 years on this planet is that life is messy. It's never perfect, clean, put together just right with a bow on top. Life is weird, awkward, uncomfortable, unorganized and messy. Things don't always turn out just right, and life never really seems to go according to the plan (especially with a toddler in tow!) But in some strange way, that's what makes it beautiful. Right? Or maybe I'm wrong, I don't know. Sounds kinda cliche, doesn't it?

I should probably be really grateful I don't feel the need to live my life in such a strict manner. I should thank God that he has given me grace and the ability to be a very relaxed laid back person, comfortable with myself and my own convictions. I think that's something people tend to appreciate about me, because it makes them comfortable around me too. What a wretched thing it would be for me to lose that!!

I don't know, I guess I'm rambling, but that's what on my mind. What do you think?