Parenting Interview

A good friend of mine asked me to fill out answers to these questions she had for a Child Development class she is in. It's a peek into my head as a parent....


What are the sleeping arrangements & practices for your baby?
We live in a dorm room together, she has a crib and I have a twin size bed. She takes 1 nap a day from 1:30-3:30 and sleeps from 8:30pm to 8:30am. She always sleeps in her own bed, we never take naps together or share a bed.

How do you respond or react to your baby crying?
I believe in giving her respect. If she feels it is necessary to cry I want her to have that freedom and that ability to choose. I never say "Oh honey youre okay!" Because if she is crying, then she does not feel like she is okay. I want her to listen to her emotions and to be authentic in her response, so I do not inturrupt that process. I listen to her, I comfort her physically if it is needed by holding her or hugging her. And I always validate her emotions.


What are your holding and carrying practices for your baby?
I hold her or carry her if that is what she wants. She is walking and running now so I just let her choose what she wants. There are times during the day when she wants to be held a lot, and other times she prefers her independance.


What are your feeding practices? Do you spoon-feed? Until what age? Is self-feeding encouraged? At what age is this started?
I am breastfeeding her atleast until age 2. She eats regular adult food and feeds herself at meal times. She has been eating regular adult food since about 8 months and has almost always fed herself. I want her to be as independant as possible. She never really ate babyfood, mainly because we were living in China when she started eating solids and regular food was just more convenient.


What are the toileting learning practices? At what age is this started? How is this done?
At 17 months she began to ask to use the toilet on her own volition. I do not want toilet training to be a control issue so the ball is entirely in her court with this one. Sometimes I ask if she wants to use it, and she says yes or no. I never push or even encourage her to use it. I believe she is capable of deciding when she is ready without my help. She uses the toilet on occasion. She has a seat that goes on top of the toilet and a stool so she can get on and off herself without my help.


What are parent-infant/adult-infant interactions like? Do you talk to your infant? How? When? Do you play with your infant? How? She is a toddler and we talk regularly despite her 45 word vocabulary. I explain things to her, I ask her questions, I share whats on my heart with her and we talk about things she likes to talk about too. We have conversations that are mutually enjoyable. We play together often and enjoy a lot of the same activities and interests.


What learning and behaviors are expected of infants and toddlers? I expect her to be curious and inquisitive and I try and allow her to explore her world as much as possible, even if that means making a giant mess.


How do you feel about your child’s curiosity and exploration? What is permissible for your child to explore? I think it is a wonderful thing for her to be curious, I encourage it. I allow her to take risks and makes messes and I rarely say no, unless there is serious danger involved with the situation.


How do you feel about your child’s curiosity about her or his body? I assume its normal for her to be curious about her body and I dont make it an issue.


How is affection expressed? Through physical touch, hugging, kissing, holding, snuggling, cuddling. Through words, telling her how much I love her constantly, telling her Im so grateful for her, telling her she is a blessing.


How should children behave towards adults? Children should feel safe to be themselves around adults. I dont think children should have to "act a certain way" around adults. I believe respect goes both ways, you teach children how to respect adults by being respectful to the child.


How loud and active are children allowed to be? As loud and active as they want or need to be.


Are children allowed to disagree with parents? Defineatly! I think it is a wonderful thing that children have minds of their own and we should never squelch that. It doesnt mean they get their way, but they defineatly have a right to their own opinion and a right to share that opinion, even if I dont like it.


How is expression of anger handled? Adults’ anger. Child’s anger. Is it okay for children to express anger? What forms are okay?
Anger is a part of life. As a parent, it is of utmost importance that if I am angry, I stay in control of myself and do not take it out on my child. Or even put her in a situation where my anger could frighten her. My child is allowed to be angry, of course! She is not allowed to physically take her anger out on me but she can punch things or hit things or throw things if she wants to. As long as she is not harming herself or another human being, she can express her anger in anyway she chooses. We rarely get that angry, so its not something I have had to address with her.


How is discipline handled? How will this be handled as your child gets older?
Discipline is important for so many reasons. I do not do "time-outs" but we do "time ins" where instead of isolating her, I sit with her away from the situation and hold her and we talk about what is going on. This usually solves everything in a way that I consider far more loving and respectful and humane than the forced isolation and abandonment of a "time out". I have used spanking when absolutely necessary but Im still not sure what I think about it, and I may discontinue this. I think open and honest communication is one of the best tools in dealing with discipline. When she gets older I have no idea what we will do for discipline.


Are there different expectations for behavior for boys and girls?
Not really


Literacy: When did you start/when will you start reading to your child? What did you read? How often?
Around 7 months I started reading to her. We read childrens board books at bedtime and if I am reading a novel I will read out loud to her while nursing, but she usually asks me to stop, I think my voice is too loud for her.


What is the importance of religion in your family?
Religion and Faith are a huge part of our family and affects a lot of what we do. I am a full time missionary and we live without any source of income but simply by faith. I trust God will provide for all our needs as I seek him and live for him, and we always have more than enough. I teach my daughter that her value comes from the fact that God made her, He loves her, and He has a plan for her life.