10 Years Later

I wish I could throw a huge over the top anniversary ceremony with fancy dresses, dancing, and an enormous cake. Why? Because May 25, 2010 marks the 10 year anniversary of the day I decided to live my life for Christ.

One warm spring day when I was 14, while sitting in a high school gymnasium, it all just made sense. God loved me, and I felt it. He had a plan for my life, better than the one I had. And He wanted me to follow Him. So I did.

And somehow, someway, [by the grace of God] I'm still on the same track.

Looking back, after all is said and done, I can't believe He is still here with me. Can't believe He hasn't given up on me. Cant believe he hasn't walked away from me.

Daily I wonder in amazement at how good His plans are, how He has faithfully provided, how I see mounting evidence of His hand on my daughter and I. It is stunning. But why? Why is He so good to us? Why is He so faithful? Why does He take such good care of us? Why has He chosen me as though I were his beautiful bride? Why is He so kind and gracious?

So many times I have ignored him. Snubbed him. Screamed at him. Doubted him. I've been so angry at His plans for me, frustrated at His way of doing things. I've dishonored him, I've dishonored myself. And yet, His hand still graciously holds onto mine.

And somehow, someway, [by the grace of God] I'm still squeezing onto His too.